fakespearefakespeare
1

fakespeare

65 – Lindley, Free State, South Africa

I wish I rather was a firefighter, or a train driver...

Two-Way Match

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Online: More than 6 months ago

Modified: More than 6 months ago

Mobile number not yet verified.

In His Own Words

About Him

Please, nobody who owns their own house (seeing that I already own our's outright).

Dankie dat jy hier gelees het.
Thank you for taking the time to read here.

[REMOVED]
A COY PHILOSOPHER
Unlike myself she never was into philosophy. Always assaulting my senses with some obscure quote about it being unable to bake bread. So, there I was, parked on my ass in the feeble sun when she snuggled up on me, enquiring: "Penny for your thoughts?"
Oh, she sometimes had such a way about her, slithering past the Hadrian wall of my innermost thoughts. So I prostrated my self: "Catherine, if it is true that hyenas mate only once every seven years, then why do they laugh so much?"
"Pig, all you men ever think about is sex!" she huffed, indignantly pushing at my person when she stood up.
"Not so" I countered..."two days ago I thought about whether we should go to the mountains this year. You always wanted to, remember." Expectantly looking up at her, yearning to make amends regarding something I was not quite sure needed any mending.
Smiling at me, sweetly countering: "Ok wise guy, any other profound questions what keep you awake at night?"
Man, it was at times like these that she had me melting, so I took her in my arms, drowning in those two alluring pools when I asked: "Will it ever be possible for two people to be truly contented with just each other?"
Kissing my lips she coyly replied: "This is really deep, you know. Give me a bit of time to think it through, will you?"
"Ok, how long do you need?"
"2 seconds should do it."
"Sure."
Hooking her arm into mine, tugging whilst manufacturing a serious tone: "Darling, after some profound deliberation I have an answer ready for you. But, to cover my ass, I shall give you three: Yes, no, or maybe."
"That's it?"
"Yes, sweety. Now come along, before your dinner coagulates together with your philosophy."

About His Ideal Match

Would love it if you always remain who and what you are today.

Wil graag he dat jy altyd sal wees wie en wat jy vandag is.

AMBITIONS
On my 80th birthday I finally managed to fulfil one of my lifelong ambitions. Something what I have strived to do since about age 6, I think? One of those you know, a goal we set for ourselves, something that might come across as ridiculous to others. But I persevered, and finally, on my 80th birthday I did it: I finally managed to say “hippopotamus” backwards, without stuttering!
Glory be…. there might still be hope for my other, secret ambition. So, let me admit to it, if you promise not to tell, of course?
Even before trying to say sumatopoppih for the first time, I wanted to be a fireman. But no, I eventually became a professor of political science in some obscure local college. Day after day, year after year rehashing the incomprehensible. A foggy pointillist.
My mother, of course, wanted me to be a doctor, medical, if you please. But I have always hated doctors. Still do, for they know nothing: always asking me and you what is wrong. And when you tell them they start to speak in tongues, relics from the tower of Babel.
Why, not even two weeks ago my daughter took me to the local quack. And when he asked me what is wrong, I clearly told him: “Doc, I’m full of shit.”
Being a doctor it confused him to no end. Scratching his bald pate, looking at my daughter, who elbowed me. So I explained: “More than a week since I shat, doc.”
“Heh, heh. Constipation, you mean.”
So, let’s rather talk about my still unfulfilled ambition of wanting to be a fireman:
You must admit there is something glorious about being a fireman. They are respected, even admired, and nobody cares whether they vote ANC or EFF. Why, as a fireman you could be famous for rescuing the president’s cat!....

And yes, I finally did become a fireman, on my 100th birthday, but space, like time has caught up with me.

What His Friends Say

Charles said...

Too intelligent for his own good. Bit of a Don Quixote I would say- always looking for a lady whose honour he can defend, though, unlike jack the Ripper who used knifes, Oscar uses words. Very talented, often thinking he's an island he will deliberately sink beneath the sea. Ok, Oscar is NOT unsociable, he loves people! So tell me, after many years why does he still have only 3 friends on facebook? Yea, he is kind of a closed book.

About Him

Country of Origin:
South Africa
Location:
Lindley, Free State, South Africa
Gender:
Male
Age:
65
Star Sign:
Capricorn
Height:
183cm (6' 0.0")
Body Type:
Average
Looks:
Average
Hair Colour:
Light Brown
Eye Colour:
Brown
Ethnicity:
White/Caucasian
Home Language:
English
Other Languages:
Afrikaans
Religion:
Christian / Protestant
Relationship Status:
Single
Looking for:
Just online friends; Open to possibilities; Long-term; Marriage
Have Children:
No
Want Children:
Ask me later
Daily Diet:
Eat most things
Smoking:
Non-Smoker
Drinking:
Occasional Drinker
Education:
Bachelors degree
Occupation:
Artistic / Musical / Writer
Income:
Solvent

About His Ideal Match

Country of Origin:
Anywhere in the World
Location:
Anywhere in South Africa
Gender:
Female
Age Range:
Any
Star Sign:
Any
Height:
Any
Body Type:
Any
Looks:
Any
Hair Colour:
Any
Eye Colour:
Any
Has a Photo:
Not important at all
Ethnicity:
Any
Home Language:
Afrikaans; English
Other Languages:
Any
Religion:
Any
Relationship Status:
Single; Separated; Divorced; Widowed
Have Children:
Any
Want Children:
Any
Daily Diet:
Any
Smoking:
Any
Drinking:
Any
Education:
Any
Occupation:
Any
Income:
Any
  • Not important at all
  • Slightly important
  • Moderately important
  • Decidedly important
  • Non-negotiable

More About Him

More Physical Characteristics
Hair Style:
Short
Eyesight:
I wear glasses
Body Hair:
Average
Body Art:
I don't have any
Personality
Sense of Humour:
Sarcastic
Intelligence:
Rocket Scientist
Ruled by:
The heart
Party Behaviour:
A cruiser
Personality Traits:
Intelligent; Optimistic; Outspoken; Sarcastic
Valued Qualities:
Compassion
Fashion Sense:
Casual (I'm usually in my favourite jeans)
Favourite Clothing:
My trusty pair of jeans
Favourite Colour:
Blue
Leisure & Entertainment
Music Preferences:
Blues; Classical; Heavy Metal; Opera; Rock
Reading:
I love it
Books:
(Auto)biographies; Fiction; History; Non-fiction
TV Habits:
I don't have a TV
Movie Frequency:
Never
Interests:
Gardening; Painting; Reading; Writing books; Writing poetry
Sport Involvement:
Watching from the couch
Sports:
Birdwatching; Boxing; Dancesport; Darts; Hiking; Rugby; Walking; Wrestling
Food
Cooking:
I cook rather than starve
Food:
Doesn't matter
Go Out to Eat:
I only eat out on special occasions
Dietary Restrictions:
I have none
More Lifestyle
Pace of Life:
Organised
Time at Work:
I work at home
Pastimes of choice:
Visiting a museum or gallery
Time Online:
I'm on for an hour or two a day
Take Drugs:
Never
Family Closeness:
We're dysfunctional
Relationship Type:
I'm just plain single
Willing to Relocate:
I'd consider it
Likes & Dislikes
Animals:
I love my pet(s)
Pets (Have):
Bird(s)
Pets (Like):
Cat(s); Dog(s); Exotic pet(s); Fish; Reptile(s); Rodent(s); Other; Horse(s)
Turn-ons:
Assertiveness; Erotica; Flirting; Intelligence; Showing affection in public; Sarcasm
The Deep Stuff
Work Aspirations:
Fire the boss
Religious Attendance:
Once a month
Dream Home:
Cottage in the country
Politics:
Liberal
Retirement Plans:
At home with a good book
Feelings about using Ananzi Dating:
Jaded
Honesty:
Very